So. Two things. ONE: This is the most freaking hilarious book I have ever read. Gert is just...so open and honest and if you're sensitive to the more...eh...delicate issues of the female body, then you'd be blushing like crazy during a few parts of this book. Amber Kizer is both subtle and blatantly obvious with this book. And my second point ties in with the first. TWO: There is practically no plot structure to this whatsoever. It's written like a journal, not a real novel. And life usually doesn't have a nice and tidy, i's dotted, t's crossed plot. But it's just so funny and honest. There is no holding back with Amber Kizer.
I would have had a hard time reading this book a few years ago, when I was more mentally chaste than I am now--I know! Shocker, right? I mean, how could I possibly be more mentally chaste than I am now? It's a scary thought, I know. And many have remarked upon it and a few have taken it upon themselves to dirty my mind in anyway possible.
Tangent: sorry. (Something I picked up from this book, by the way. XD)
If you're currently down in the dumps--or if you ever get down in the dumps in future--think of this book and go grab it from the shelf. Just reading a few pages will have you laughing. Gert's rants and raves are eclectic. I wouldn't be a bit surprised if this were Amber Kizer's own teenage journal--even though she has a particular thing to say about the word "journal". ;) Point is: this book helped alleviate the stress I was feeling today. (A hypocritical teacher + failing a class = comfort foods, holla!) So even if you AREN'T feeling a little down in the mouth--got sick of saying "dumps"--this is still a wonderful book to read.
While it is short and easy, Amber Kizer poses questions that I'm sure every female teenager has thought about at one point or another. NOTE: BOYS! Stay the heck away from this book. Go play a video game or something--not to be sexist--but this book is NOT to be read by boys. Course...what self-respecting boy would be caught dead reading a book titled, "One Butt Cheek At A Time"? Ooy. [insert rapidly deleted, definitely obscene statement here]
Ladies, ever been caught in class and your monthly friend pays a visit--and you have NO backup to speak of? That's covered. Ever had a gay best friend that starts spending more time with his wanna-be boyfriend than you? Gert's feeling ya. Ever been suddenly horrifically embarrassed by your eyebrows and gone through the pains of plucking? Ooo, Gert's definitely feeling ya.
So if you want to laugh--and please, who doesn't?--grab this book from your library. It was so fun. Oh, you're still not convinced? Let me demonstrate, shall I? If you don't laugh, then you can go back to your intense drama reading. By all means.
Mr. Fritz tells Sarah to check her mirror, and we all fasten our seat belts. Giggle sucks. Is she driving or playing car croquet? Holy-Mother-of-Brake-Pads, it's not like we're learning to drive a stick. It's a freakin' automatic. There's no need to drive with both feet--at the same time. The right foot, Princess, use only the right one. // I wonder if anyone has ever sued the school district for whiplash brought on by other student drivers. I may break ground. Be a legal precedent. (p. 156, paperback)The "//" shows a paragraph break. That's just a small sample of Gert's magnetic attitude.
Read it. Love it. Covet it. But don't get crazy.
Note: I recommend this for middle grade and high school students due to the sexual content--No sex scenes, but references to the body. Shall I provide visual aid? XD
Overall grade: A (I left off the plus only because there's practically no plot and me being me, it bugged me just a smidge)
- Pages - hardcover, 304; paperback, 295
- Published - October 2007
- Publisher - Delecorte Books for Young Readers
- Genre - realistic fiction
Coming up next for review: Blood Bound by Patricia Briggs. Stay tuned, folks!